hay so i made one post and then never posted again, the little grains of time have been gushing thru my oddly-shaped hourglass so quick you see. at the moment my life has been totes overrun with sum of the most amaze babez evar, but I discovered this really inspyring blog today when my friend posted a link to it on FB and now I'm all geared up to write again, but don't let that be an indicator of amazing words about to spout outta my typin fingahz and onto the screen... but yeh Ima gon post sum shiz now and hopefully more will come soon toooooooo.
kizzez.
queer fancy feminism culture gender music drag fashun sex butler ciggies glamour
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
schroedinger's cat, the twilight zone, and my dad
So I finally decided to join the bandwagon and start a blog. I don't really know why it took me so long. I always used to think of myself as an early adopter, spesh with techo stuff, but w'evz hay rofl lol omg*.
It's pretty telling that I actually made this blog weeks ago one afternoon at a dreary day in the office (like teh realz office, not even kidding, like, not "the office" like my bedroom listenin to tunez and bein a babe, or out at some place lookin disinterested and disappointed by the ugliness** of the crowd), and now this is the first actual post I'm actually making. Maybe it's cos I'm getting older (FUCCCCKKKKK) or maybe because I'm actually far more lazy than I think (DOUBLE FUUCCCCCKKKK FUCCKKKKKKK) but whatever it is, the beauty of me havin my brain and you havin yours is that you will never really know.
Like, you can never really know what I'm thinking. Sure you can look at all of the evidence that's available - my body language, eye contact, responses, what I say, blah blah blah, but that will only ever form an assumption in your head. I can "weave tapestries of truth" all I like and you can believe what you wanna believe and take the rest as shit, but the truth is that you will never know the truth. Mulder is kinda wrong, cause although the truth is out there in a way, it's also not, because it's completely unattainable. Like Schrödinger's cat.
My mum said that about my dad this one time, that nobody ever really knows what's inside, what he's thinking, what he's feeling. That everyone sees this lovely jovial dude but it's all an act. I used to think that it was really profound. Not so much any more.
Now I think that it's actually the case for everyone. We all construct truths, we all construct reality. We are all architects in the narrative of our lives, of our history, of our character. And that's all kinda liberating I reckon hey.
Ummm I went all deep and shit, soz, I prom that next time it will be heaps not as deep cause I'm not really that deep all the time. Or am I? Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh......... (it's hard to try and do a text representation of a Twilight Zone-esque theme tune but you get the drift yeh? yeh.)
*so when msn first came out and we all spent every afternoon after school on it talking to each other, I decided not to use any abbreviations ESPESH "lol" cause I thought it was heaps dumb cause nobody every actually laughed out loud when on msn cause nobody ever actually had anything funny to say it was just all like:
and so on.
But now I heaps luv abbrevz 4evz cos it's rly keute to talk like a teenybopper highschool girl SLASH like a lolcat. Lol.
**when I say "ugly" I don't mean it the way that conventional society reads it. I'm not talking about a set of arbitrary physical characteristics that are produced and re-produced through culture... I'm talking about people who are my version of ugly. For example, people with a lot of access to privilege who don't check and accept their privilege and think about how they might be affecting others. And people who are violent or inconsiderate to others. And people who wear bad fashun.
Okay nah scrap that last one.
Umm nah actually dont.
But like, y'know. not in a fucked way.
It's pretty telling that I actually made this blog weeks ago one afternoon at a dreary day in the office (like teh realz office, not even kidding, like, not "the office" like my bedroom listenin to tunez and bein a babe, or out at some place lookin disinterested and disappointed by the ugliness** of the crowd), and now this is the first actual post I'm actually making. Maybe it's cos I'm getting older (FUCCCCKKKKK) or maybe because I'm actually far more lazy than I think (DOUBLE FUUCCCCCKKKK FUCCKKKKKKK) but whatever it is, the beauty of me havin my brain and you havin yours is that you will never really know.
Like, you can never really know what I'm thinking. Sure you can look at all of the evidence that's available - my body language, eye contact, responses, what I say, blah blah blah, but that will only ever form an assumption in your head. I can "weave tapestries of truth" all I like and you can believe what you wanna believe and take the rest as shit, but the truth is that you will never know the truth. Mulder is kinda wrong, cause although the truth is out there in a way, it's also not, because it's completely unattainable. Like Schrödinger's cat.
My mum said that about my dad this one time, that nobody ever really knows what's inside, what he's thinking, what he's feeling. That everyone sees this lovely jovial dude but it's all an act. I used to think that it was really profound. Not so much any more.
Now I think that it's actually the case for everyone. We all construct truths, we all construct reality. We are all architects in the narrative of our lives, of our history, of our character. And that's all kinda liberating I reckon hey.
Ummm I went all deep and shit, soz, I prom that next time it will be heaps not as deep cause I'm not really that deep all the time. Or am I? Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh......... (it's hard to try and do a text representation of a Twilight Zone-esque theme tune but you get the drift yeh? yeh.)
*so when msn first came out and we all spent every afternoon after school on it talking to each other, I decided not to use any abbreviations ESPESH "lol" cause I thought it was heaps dumb cause nobody every actually laughed out loud when on msn cause nobody ever actually had anything funny to say it was just all like:
Hey how r u? :)
Yeah ok u?
Pretty good, just got home.
Oh cool me 2. Parents are bein so annoyin. >.<
Yeh mine 2
and so on.
But now I heaps luv abbrevz 4evz cos it's rly keute to talk like a teenybopper highschool girl SLASH like a lolcat. Lol.
**when I say "ugly" I don't mean it the way that conventional society reads it. I'm not talking about a set of arbitrary physical characteristics that are produced and re-produced through culture... I'm talking about people who are my version of ugly. For example, people with a lot of access to privilege who don't check and accept their privilege and think about how they might be affecting others. And people who are violent or inconsiderate to others. And people who wear bad fashun.
Okay nah scrap that last one.
Umm nah actually dont.
But like, y'know. not in a fucked way.
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